Wednesday, August 18, 2010

sacred dance

When I first went to school to become a therapist, massage seemed to me like a sacred dance. Sacred because a person invites you in to touch them in a deeply personal way, not only physically, but mentally, emotionally and yes even spiritually. And a dance because of the fluid movements strung together in a flow that feels to me like dancing-moving to the rhythm of the body's timing. Over the five years I worked at the spa, I lost my reverence for the work. It became just a job to me and one I often dreaded. But today, in my own office, in the special place I'd created to do my work, I remembered what it could be-what it should be.  I remembered the joy of asking the body what it needs and seeking permission to be a part of that healing process. I remembered what it feels like to care more about helping the person on my table than I care about the clock or the money.

Until that moment of remembering, I was still having doubts about not returning to my job at the spa. But in that one moment of clarity, I realized this is time to retrieve those pieces of my self I have sold off or have let slip away.  It is time to regain my sense of purpose in this work. I realized I don't ever want to trade in the sacred dance for a health insurance policy and a steady paycheck again. It's much more valuable than those things ever can or will be. And I am so thankful to have remembered before it was too late.

Sunday, August 8, 2010


August-the eighth month of the year. Can 2010 possibly be more than half gone!? Reflecting on the beginning of this blog and my purpose in giving up TV I find I'm a little disappointed in myself. One of the main purposes for pulling the plug was to give myself time and space to develop my writing. I have not done nearly as much of that as I would have liked. Of course, I did lose my job quite suddenly and have been working to start my own practice, so I do have some excuse there. But this was not to be a year of excuses! So I'm verbally kicking myself in the pants here, and committing to getting back on track with my goals. Still 5 months left in the year to move in the right direction!


You want to know the biggest thing I dislike about weddings? That they make me so sappy and sentimental! They make me consider the possibilty of doing it myself at some point in the future one more time. But seriously? After being married twice unsuccessfully, most days I wouldn't even consider going down that aisle again. I am extremely happy with my life and my freedom just the way it is. I know I would have a terrible time adjusting to the demands of such a commitment at this point in my evolution. And yet, when you hear all the vows and the pledges of love everlasting, who can help thinking...well maybe? Thank goodness they don't come around that often!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

sleep eludes me

It is 12:30 and I cannot sleep. In the morning I am supposed to be up at 4:30 so that I can take pictures of Sedona at sunrise and the town of Jerome with my niece. I see a nap in my future tomorrow no doubt! So far, Sedona is beautiful. Bell Rock with it's red face is breathtaking. For the first time, I can see why some find the desert beautiful. I've always preferred the lush green of an alpine mountain landscape, but this has a unique grandeur.