When I first went to school to become a therapist, massage seemed to me like a sacred dance. Sacred because a person invites you in to touch them in a deeply personal way, not only physically, but mentally, emotionally and yes even spiritually. And a dance because of the fluid movements strung together in a flow that feels to me like dancing-moving to the rhythm of the body's timing. Over the five years I worked at the spa, I lost my reverence for the work. It became just a job to me and one I often dreaded. But today, in my own office, in the special place I'd created to do my work, I remembered what it could be-what it should be. I remembered the joy of asking the body what it needs and seeking permission to be a part of that healing process. I remembered what it feels like to care more about helping the person on my table than I care about the clock or the money.
Until that moment of remembering, I was still having doubts about not returning to my job at the spa. But in that one moment of clarity, I realized this is time to retrieve those pieces of my self I have sold off or have let slip away. It is time to regain my sense of purpose in this work. I realized I don't ever want to trade in the sacred dance for a health insurance policy and a steady paycheck again. It's much more valuable than those things ever can or will be. And I am so thankful to have remembered before it was too late.