trainer

I talked to my friend Thomas the personal trainer today. He agreed to help me come up with a fitness plan this weekend. But first he asked if I was willing to do what it takes to reach my goals? That's a good question. Am I? If I am, why have I not been able to do it till now. Is it lack of knowledge, lack of motivation, or what? If it's lack of knowledge, Thomas can help me with that. If it is motivation that's needed, I think the desire to look my best for the trip of my life should be enough. I just need to keep my focus on the prize.

check in

It's not quite the end of the month, but I decided to go ahead and do my check-in tonight. It has been almost 3 months with no TV. Has it been worth it? Am I accomplishing what I hoped?

It has definitely been worth it. But I am still not accomplishing all I hoped. I think I need yet a little more structure and planning.

On the fitness front, I am not happy. I have managed to lose about 8 pounds, but I have 20 more to go and Sept 21 is fast approaching. I think I need to enlist the help of a professional. I have a friend who is a fitness trainer and I am going to ask him to help me come up with a fitness routine/schedule/plan. Next week I will begin working a later shift on Mon and Tues so my start times will be consistently later. If I can get myself into the routine of working out before I start my work day, I think it will really help. Any suggestions on how to get and stay motivated? I'll take any and all help in that department.

On the writing front, I am making slower progress than I hoped. I have managed to write almost every day either here, or journaling, but I am making no headway on the fiction novel idea. I'm thinking I should start out with something smaller perhaps, as a novel just seems too daunting at this point. Maybe I could do the character sketches for the novel as short projects, then work on writing short stories about each and eventually use that material to create the basis of the book. I am reading a good book write now called "How to Write What You Love". The author says this about finding time to write, "...if you use only two hours per day, Monday through Friday, you could develop into a working professional writer within one year without interrupting anything in your already established routine." Well, I've already cleared out the two needed hours per day by cutting out TV. Now the challenge is to spend those two hours writing and writing with purpose. I like a lot of the suggestions he makes and I think I'm going to start trying to put them to use.

I'm feeling quite scared and vulnerable right now-with a host of thoughts running through my brain about putting so much effort into something and hoping for a specific result, but having the possible outcome be finding out I'm not good enough? What if the raw material, the talent, just isn't there? I guess I'll never know if it is or it isn't until I put my full effort into. And if it isn't, at least I can say I followed my dream. At least I can say I gave it my best shot. Right?

wonderful

My weekend was wonderful! I drove up to Knoxville for a west coast swing workshop and then stayed for a dance. They had some really wonderful dancers there. It was so fun to be exposed to new patterns and styles. I didn't get much done after I got home today. I was kind of wiped out so I took a nap and then enjoyed a wonderful pot roast dinner with my family, a movie and just now a hot bath. And you know what, not getting certain things done is not the end of the world. I got the important stuff done this weekend: decompression, relaxing, family time, being with friends and people I care about and lots of dancing. All those things help me to be more of myself. More loving, less stressed. More kind, less frustrated and rushed. After the week I had last week it was just what I needed. Hope I can carry that feeling of being more the person I enjoy being through my week. What makes you feel more like your best self? Have you done it lately? If not, maybe you should. Just a thought. :-)

weekend

Well the long work week is finally done, thank goodness. I went to Dance World tonight for the swing dance and it was fun. Heading to Knoxville tomorrow for a swing workshop and dance. And signed up tonight for the swing event that is happening Easter weekend. It's good to get back into the habit of dancing. I miss it when I don't, that's for sure. And I get rusty. Have to get up very early tomorrow to make it to the workshop in time, so sweet dreams. And remember, dancing is good for the soul- well for my soul anyway!

Rough week

It's been kind of a rough week at work. The team has been going through some things that I really don't like to deal with. As I drove home, my hunched-over-the-steering-wheel posture clued me into the fact that I am having trouble leaving my work at work. And one of my very best friends is also going through a briar patch at the moment. And you know what? I have a problem with not being able to make it all better. I guess the mommy in me wants to be able to kiss every boo-boo and make it disappear. And when I can't, when it's too big or too deep or just plain out of my control, I don't like it. Not one little bit! I was born to take care of people and to nurture people. It's simply who I am. When I can't fulfill that role, it really sucks for me. So I need to find ways to let that all go and to realize I am not the fixer of every problem. My care does not take away every pain, like I would want it too. I have to be satisfied with doing my best and leaving the rest to The Spirit. Ah....letting go...sooooooo much easier said than done. :-)

small differences

Action

"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee."

-Marion Wright Edelman



Small differences-
I like this idea of focusing on some small thing we can do everyday to make someone's life in our sphere of influence a little better, a little brighter. Today, I found a way to do that. There was someone I know who is going through a rough time. I sent her a text telling her to remember she is loved today. It was a small thing, I know. But she replied and said how much she needed to hear that today. And so that small thing was also a really good thing, a really nice thing. Did I save the world? No. But maybe I made it just the tiniest bit better by reaching out and by caring.

the right foot

Well spring is not giving a very good showing so far. Today's high was in the low forties and cloudy/ rainy. But on the bright side, tomorrow is supposed to be in the sixties. I'm not sure if it is the up-and-down weather or what, but my moods have been very up and down as well. Tonight I feel sad, for no real reason. I wish I knew how to get myself out of these funks when they descend, but it seems no matter how hard I try to change my mood, it won't budge. Need to find new strategies. Maybe I'm just tired and it's nothing a good night's sleep won't cure. Am going to go to sleep counting my blessings and thinking all the positive thoughts I can muster. Determined to start tomorrow out on the right foot!