Saturday, November 13, 2010

how easily we forget

Have you ever noticed how we can completely forget the reality of our past experiences? Today was my second day of watching my grandkids 24/7 while their mommy and daddy are at the hospital. And today, as I sat exhausted and ready to toss the next child who screamed out the window, it hit me. I had forgotten. I'd forgotten what it was like to be a mommy and have someone constantly depending on you and needing you and wanting you. I had forgotten how tiring and challenging it could be and how it could try the patience of a saint.  How could I forget something like that? I mean, intellectually I still knew it. But I could no longer really feel what that experience was like. It made me wonder, what else have I forgotten? What other experiences can I no longer truly empathize with or conjure up in my emotional being? And how does that effect the decisions I make from day to day? If I can't remember what it's like to be in a love-relationship, how can I decide if I want to be in one again? If I can't remember what it felt like to work for a corporation, how will I keep my motivation going to run my own business? I guess the old saying "those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it" applies. So my goal is to keep a clear memory of why my life is where it is today, and not be tricked by forgetfulness to retrace old roads that I've already traveled or be forced to relearn lessons already learned!

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