26 years ago

It is so strange to think that 26 years ago tonight, I was laboring to bring my son into the world. It was probably the hardest and also the most wonderful thing I've ever done in my life. My son has grown into an incredible young man with two children of his own. He works extremely hard to take care of his family and he is an awesome daddy who is completely involved in the care and raising of his children unlike so many men. I am so proud to be the person that brought him here, although I certainly can't claim the glory for all of who he turned out to be. For that, I am not solely responsible. But I am honored that I had a hand in it at least.

attitude check

I just saw a video on FB by a young man born with no arms and no legs. His name is Nick Vujicic and he is quite amazing. He travels the world encouraging people to live life with purpose and his example speaks louder than any sermon. What an attitude check! I sometimes let myself get upset about Riley's condition and start to question why this would happen to her etc...This young man's story just made me realize how very fortunate we are and also that the fullness of our lives is not defined by our physical  limitations. It is our attitude that determines our destiny. And our attitudes are produced by our minds and spirits. If you've never seen him, check out www.attitudeisaltitude.com

but be prepared to have a major attitude check!!!

Present attitude

Happiness

"Happiness is a present attitude - not a future condition."

-Hugh Prather



I love this quote. I think I already wrote something about this recently, but it keeps coming back to my attention so it must be something I need to focus on or explore more. The only place you can be happy is in the now. Not tomorrow or yesterday, but in your life now. In the midst of the dirty laundry and the phone ringing and the kids crying. Or in the midst of a beautiful sunny day sitting in  the park watching your kids laugh and play. There has to be something in each moment we can be grateful for. Do I have my health? If so, I am grateful. Did I eat good food today ? I am grateful. Did I have a job to go to today? Grateful. Did I have a car to get me around where I needed to go, people in my life who love me, a warm safe place to lay my head at night? Grateful, grateful, grateful! Please don't let me take these "ordinary" blessing for granted. Don't let me take this extremely blessed life I lead for granted. Let me be thankful in every moment for at least some small thing. Then I will experience happiness as a present condition and not some vague future possibility.

Getting Over It

Have you ever had a falling out with someone (a friend, boyfriend, relative) and then you hear this person has had something bad happen in their life? Let's say they get very ill, someone breaks their heart, they lose their job, have a car accident or something of the sort. And once this "thing" hits, you forget all about your distance and your anger and you just show up to help them. I think it's a great thing... but I wonder why it happens. Does it make us realize the stuff we were fighting about is pretty trivial in the grand scheme of things? Or do we decide that even though they have hurt us in some way, we still care too much about them not to be there when they need us? Is it a mark of maturity, that we can get over it, forgive and move on? I like to think so. I like to think that there are people out there who I may no longer be on the best terms with, yet one day if I really needed them, they would be there for me. Those are the kind of people I hope I've chosen to be my friends in the past despite any less-than-perfect parting.

As I face rocky relationships in the future, perhaps I will remember that not every relationship ends because one of the people in it is a bad person. Probably, they are both good people who just don't see eye-to-eye anymore and would still be there for each other if the chips were down. If I can remember this, maybe the rocky places won't be quite so rocky anymore.

weekend

I have been very derelict in my writing duties this weekend! I hope you will forgive me. It has not been from laziness at least. It was a very busy weekend and the time just slipped by. I went dancing this weekend. Twice! Lots of fun and got to reconnect with friends I haven't seen in a while. Had breakfast with my three girlfriends from massage school who are such wonderful people to have in my life. I'm so happy we are making it a once a month get-together. Had movie night one evening and made a ring inspired by one I saw at the art crawl last week. It turned out really nice. And I think on our next girl's get-together were all going to make them as a project. I bought shoes and clothes for my trip. Got some really cute stuff. I don't think there's much more in the way of clothes that I will need, so that is a big check on the to-do list! Cleaned out the refrigerator, went grocery shopping and got my veggies all cut up and ready for the week ahead. And crossed off several other things that I needed to get done. So all-in-all, a weekend well spent. Back to work tomorrow. Ready for the new week? I feel like I am.

triumphed

I did not fall into the pit last night. I triumphed over my craving! I am not sure how and it was certainly no thanks to one of my co-workers who was enticing me to go have a burger with him once he heard of my weakness. Why is that? Whey do people like to help you stumble when you are trying to be good? No matter. I didn't go for the burger. I went home and had a banana and some cashew butter. But you want to know what really stinks? Tonight the craving was back even stronger. I all but pulled into the Hardee's, but at the last minute some vestige of my will power took over and I made it home once again without falling into the pit. I just think it stinks that we have to triumph over the same obstacles again and again. Shouldn't once be enough? But then it would just be too easy wouldn't it. So one day at a time we get up and fight the battles before us. Some days they are the same as we faced yesterday and some days there are brand new dragons to slay. And then other days, there are no dragons at all, just blue, clear skies. Ah....I like those days! Perhaps tomorrow will be a smooth-sailing, light as air, feather floating on the breeze, blue-clear-sky day. You think?

cravings

This is Day 10 of the Detox. (11 days to go) It's been going pretty well, with a couple of minor slips, but tonight I have a HUGE craving for a pepper-jack burger. The kind of craving that grabs hold of you like a pitbull and won't let go. And I'm sitting here wondering how I'm going to make it home without pulling into the drive-thru at some greasy burger joint. I've never been good at dealing with cravings. I guess that's why I've never been skinny. I wonder how others deal with cravings. Any great ideas out there? I'm soooo open to suggestions! Maybe I should call PITA. Do you think they have a hotline to help those that are trying not to eat our furry friends? I bet they do. Think I'll go drink a glass of water. I've heard that's supposed to help. I'll let you know tomorrow if I'm successful in avoiding the gaping chasm that is my craving, or if I dive in head first.